Ask the Cast
by AnimeMatrice
Summary: Have you ever had a question that you've really wanted to ask your favourite FMA character? Well, here's your chance to do so, and read other fans' questions and answers from the cast of FMA!
1. The beginning of the hilarity

**I'm back! Sorry about the long time between stories but I've been kinda busy over the summer.. But then I had this idea. Enjoy!**

**Question for Alphonse: Do you have any relations with the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz?-Amazoness**

Alphonse: Tin Man? Who is the Tin Man? Should I know him?..Oh! You mean the one from that book! Oh no..I only have Nii-san now.

**Question for Shou Tucker: Do you ever shave?-Amazoness**

Shou Tucker: ...It's very hard to shave while you're upside down on the back of a chimera's body.

**Another Question for Shou Tucker: How does it feel to see the world upside-down all the time?- Amazoness**

Shou Tucker:...Wait a minute...How did you get in here? Out! Out! Get Out!

**Question for Armstrong: Dude, what's up with your hair?-Amazoness**

Armstrong: Oh? My hairstyle is a magnificent symbol, passed down through the Armstrong family for generations! As well as my magnificent hair (continues talking while I sneak away)blahblah..Hey where did she go?

**Question for Armstrong: Were you dropped on your head in the enfentile stage?-Amazoness**

Armstrong: Oh no I assure you! The nursery in the Armstrong household is perfectly fine! Our nursing techniques have been passed down for generations in the Armstrong family!

**Question for Scar: After your goal of killing all the State Alchemists, are you planning to kill any presidents, prime ministers, and/or dictators?-Amazoness**

Scar: I shall tell you nothing about my future plans, insignifigent bystander.

Me: Insignifigent bystander?

Scar:...Flexes arm with Alchemy tattoo

Me:..Ok...Insignifigent bystander it is then...

**Question for Riza: Do you carry guns with you all the time?And if so, how many?-Unknown**

Riza: Of course I do. If I didn't, Barry the Chopper would have killed me the time I went shopping. And I carry at least two at a time.

**Ok! That seemed like a sucessful first chapter!. Please send in your own questions for the cast, and I will try to answer as many of them that I can. Thank you!**


	2. On with the show!

**Thank you to the two reviewers of chapter one! I was actually surprised that people would give me questions! But thank you! The next chapters will be much longer, depending on my reviews.**

**Disclaimer:I don't own FMA. In fact I don't even have a FMA poster! The most of FMA that I've own is a few pictu**

**Question for Envy: Is your hair colour natural?-Moofy-fan**

Envy: Pah! Of course it's natural you pitiful human! Do you think that someone like _me_ would stoop so low as to actually use some of your pitiful hair products? They're terrible! They wash out way too fast and they're way overpriced...Uh..That doesn't mean I've actually used any...Um..Yes...A..Uh..LUST!Yes! It was Lust that used them and told me to..Uh.. answer this question properly..Yes..That's the truth.

**Question for Roy: Is it true that you don't wear anything beneath your pants?-Roy-Fan-33**

Roy:grin Why don't you take a look? (after finding out the person who wanted to know was a tennaged girl, I declined his err...kind (?) offer so this one will have to go unanswered.)

**Another Question for Roy: Just how do you manage to look so hot in that skirt-thing the military makes you wear? It's beyond me...-Roy-Fan-33**

Roy:with famous smirk on face Well, I've been told that I look hot in anything so, the military skirt just proves that fact.

**Question for Ed: What inspired the leather pants? The black and the emo-ness makes sense... but I'm yet to understand the leather...-Roy-Fan-33**

Ed:Well, you see..It was the only pants that I owned. Same with the entire outfit. I had just finished buring down my house when I realized that I didn't bring any other sets of clothing...And I'm not the kind of guy that goes shopping very often.

**Question for Winry:Honestly, where do you even USE a wrench that big? It's far to large to use on adverage sized automail... Do you build planes or something in your spare time?-Roy-Fan-33**

Winry: The only purpose of that large wrench is so that I have something big, hard and heavy that I can hit people with, say..Ed. All of my other tools are normal size, and those just wouldn't hurt as much if I hit Ed with them. Oh and no, I don't build planes. I have enough with just automail...But I would love to take one apart...

**Question for Armstrong: Are you sure those muscles of your's aren't just large tumerous masses that will slowly kill you over time?-Roy-Fan-33**

Armstrong: Pah! Tumors? You underestimate the health of the Armstrong family1 I assure you, my muscles are quite authentic! No one in the history of the Armstrong family has EVER received cancer of any sort!

**Question for Pinako: Do you consider yourself PROOF that old people shrink? Heh heh... You're the last living being LARGER and older than Ed.-Roy-Fan-33**

Me:...She refused to answer the question so, I think we can assume Roy-Fan-33 was right..

**Question for Izumi: Have you ever thrown blood up on Ed as a punishment? oO-Roy-Fan-33**

Izumi: Why, Yes I have. How did you find out?

**Question for Ed: How do you get that nifty antenna to stay up all day?-Roy-Fan-33**

Edward: Simple! I just press it really hard in between my hands in the moring and it'll stay like that. Or, sometimes I'll transmute some rock to look like my hair, and stick it onto my head...But don't tell anyone!

**-AnimeMatrice**

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	3. Wow! This one's loooong!

**Wow! This series is more popular than I thought it would be! Thank you everyone who reviewed!..I sorta changed some of their personalities, but I think it's for the better...(?) These chapters are getting longer..**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA although once I pretended to be Riza...Do not let that fact cloud your judgement!**

**Question for Al: How did the obcession for cats start?-Moonlight-Love-Heart**

Al:Cats?..Well..I wouldn't call it an obcession..But..I do love them and..All right! It's an obcession!Don't need to rub it in..sniff

Me:..Right..And while I'm here, I might as well ask you this: How can a suit of armor cry?

Al:...I really...Don't know...

**Question for Armstrong: What's up with the sparkles? My friends wants to kill them...and you.-Moonlight-Love-Heart**

Armstrong: Sparkles? What sparkles? Is there some sort of sparkle problem with me?...Oh those sparkles! Roy made them for me to get me out of his office one day. I keepthem in a jar and throw a few out whenever I feel they are needed. Yessriee..They aren't alive so I don't see how you can kill them, and as for killing me, Have you seen the size of my GLORIOUS muscles?flexes

**Question for Wrath: Why did you poke that mouse,you-you evil mouse poker?-Moonlight-Love-Heart**

Wrath:What's wrong with poking mice? I do it all the time see? pulls out mouse and pokes it And yes, I am an evil mouse poker.Bwahahahaha!

**Question for Hohenheim: Why is it that even if Dante sometimes accepts the fact that you two had a child, you never do?-Kanashii.Umi **

Hohenheim: Well.If you ask me, Dante is a bit..err..how can I put it..crazy. Yes..Ahem..Crazy..

**Question for Envy: After you kill Hohenheim, what will you do?-Kanashii.Umi**

Envy: Hmm...I'll probably open a hair salon...That would be quite enjoyable..Yes...Eh? You're recording this? No! I'll.. Uhh... open the hair salon to trick pitiful humans into coming and then killing them..Yes.

**Question for Al: How do you manage to keep away all of the rust you would probably accumulate?-Fullmetal-at-the-Disco**

Al: The rust?...I really have no clue..I never get rusty for some reason...Maybe it's cuz I don't take baths...

**Question for Ed: Is it true that where one lacks growth in height, they gain in...'other' places?-Fullmetal-at-the-Disco**

Ed:...anger marks appearHow would I know? Why? ...WHO YOU CALLING SO SHORT YOU COULD SCRAPE OFF THE BOTTOM OF YOUR BOOT WITH A TOOHPICK?struggles to get out of Al's grip

-a while later-

Ed:...Who told you that?..Was it Roy? I KNEW IT!IT'S THAT DAMN COLONEL ALL ALONG!ARGHHHH!

**Question for Armstrong: Have you ever considered changing your State Alchemist name to 'Sparkly Alchemist'? It would suit you so much more...-Fullmetal-at-the-Disco**

Armstrong:Hmm..Now that I think about it..It would..But I've grown attached to my current name, and couldn't dream of parting with it...tears stream down face

**Question for Greed: What's it like to be a pimp?-Fullmetal-at-the-Disco**

Greed:Pimp? Is that what I'm considered to be?...depressed...It's not my fault I like the colour black! I didn't wanna be pimp!goes off to be sad

**Question for Hughes: How many pictures of Elicia do you own+How many cameras do you go through in a year?-Fullmetal-at-the-Disco**

Hughes: My darling Elicia? Why exactly 364 293 914 757! I count them when I'm bored...As for the cameras..Hmm...Maybe..7? Sometimes more!While your here..Would you like to see a picture of my darling Elicia? In fact, you can see all 364 293 914 757 of them! I carry them in my pockets!

**Question for Al:Have you ever had to trap inside of you so he won't attack people for calling him short?-Moofy-fan**

Al: Well actually I haven't, but thanks for the idea! Now he won't be able to hurt people..Bwahaha..

**Question for Ed: Is it true you're gay with Roy?**-**Greedy Ed**

Ed:mouth wide open in shock and disgustWhat the...HELL NO!

**Question for Ed: How tall are you?-kianna13**

Ed:..None of your beeswax...

**Question for Al: How come you like kittens so much?-kianna13**

Al: Again with the Kitties?MAKE IT STOP!I just like them okay?Doesn't everyone like kitties?

**Question for Riza: Do you like Roy?-kianna13**

Riza:...Of course I do, he's my commanding officer. If I din't like him, he wouldn't be alive today.

**Quesiton for Roy: Would you ever go out with Riza?-kianna13**

Roy: Sure why not. I mean, she's female and not bad looking...Now if only she'd wear a miniskirt...

**Question for Ed: When you measure how tall you are do you count the bit of hair sticking up?-krizzygirl206**

Ed:..Of course i do, it's part of me, thus part of my height..muttering not to mention the extra 10cm..

Me:What was that last part?

Ed:Nothing, nothing..

**Question for Roy: Why miniskirts?If you just said 'skirts' I'm sure more girls would agree and wear them. I'd wear a skirt for you! I love skirts! And you! krizzygirl206**

Roy: Why it's simple, miniskirts are shorter, thus revealing more girl and less cloth...Would you wear a miniskirt for me?

**Question for Ed:How many times have you been called "Shorty, Shrimp, Chibi" or any other word relating too or meaning 'Short'...?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Ed:...5649...

**Question for Al: How many cats can you shove into your armour?I mean seriously, you're rather big soo...I'm I right to guess around 112?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Al: I've never really tried but I think you're about right.

**Question for Envy: Are you gay?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Envy:What would make you think that?...Lust whispers something to him The Skirt? Just because I wear a skirt and like to look pretty?...Not that I do..like to look pretty that is..

**Another question for Envy:Do you love someone?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Envy: Of course I do! The one I so adore is, ME!

**Question for Envy (again): Why are you a crossdressing palm tree?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Lust: Envy can't answer this one because when he read the question, he burst into tears and fled somewhere. I however can answer it. He was created that way.

**Question for Riza: DO you REALLY love Roy? Enough to marry him?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Riza:..That is classified information.

Roy: Oh-Ho! That means Yes I think! But then again, who wouldn't want to marry me? I mean, interrupted by two loud gunshots...Nevermind then...shiver

**Quesiton for Roy: How many dates have you been on?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Roy: Hmm...I'm guessing somewhere between 2000000000-3000000000.Or more.

**Question for Tucker:You are seriously insane, agreed?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Tucker:Nina..my preciousssssss, preciousssssss..

**Question for Al: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO OBSESSED ABOUT KITTIES?-Numdenu**

Me: I showed him this question and he had a mental breakdown..

**Question for Ed: What would you do if I said your brother got his body back, but had to get both arms AND legs automail'd? (evil cackle)-Numdenu**

Ed: I would say:' Ha! Whatever you said doesn't matter because it won't happen!sticks out toungue'

**Question for Gluttony:2+2?-Numdenu**

Gluttony:...Uhhhh...Lust!runs

**-AnimeMatrice**


	4. Continuing!

**Yay! More reviewers! I'll try my best to answer everyones' questions.**

**Disclaimer: I have not kidnapped all of the cast in order to write this fanfic. If I could've though...**

**Question for Roy: Who's a better kisser, Ed or Havoc?-amrun'quessir**

Roy:...I may like kissing a lot, but that doesn't mean that I'd sink so low to my own men! I have an ample supply of girls lined up to kiss moi!

**Question for Maria Ross: How was that hot date with Sgt. Brosh last night?-amrun'quessir**

Maria Ross:-looking nervous- W-What date?..H-How would you know anything about my eh..personal life?-cough-

**Question for Ed: Is it hard to reach Russel's lips 'cause you're so short?-amrun'quessir**

Ed:-look of disbelief and anger-What. The. HELL?ARGHHH!-lunges to try and hurt me but is stopped just in time by Al-GRAH!LET. ME. GO!I'LL KILL THE $&$ ()&#$#( WHO SAID THAT!GRAHHHHH!LEMMEE GO!

**Question for Lust:If you ever were to fall in love, who would you choose? Envy, Scar, Roy, Ed...? Who? (lol)-Kanashii.Umi**

Lust:Well, none of them are particularly rich...Hmm...Envy's too annoying, Scar is too...obsessed, Roy is too pervy, and Ed is waaay too short.

-somewhere in the distance-Ed:...Someone just called me SHORT. I can feel it in my bones..Grrrrrr..

**Question for Wrath: Why did you choose Sloth as a mother? Wasn't Isumi good enough? TT-Kanashii.Umi**

Wrath:...I'm telling my mommy on you!

**Question for Al: Did you know I luv cats? Can we team up and beg Ed to let you keep some?-Flashlight Maniac **

Al: Team up? But I don't even know you! But..If it'll get me some kitties...-goes off mumbling to himself-...But I'm not supposed to talk to strangers...Hmm...Sure!

**Question for Roy: Are you related to Hawkeye? Is that why she is always with you?-Flashlight Maniac **

Roy: Me? Related to Hawkeye? That would be a nightmare! ..She's my assisstant...I mean, would a brother think such ...weird thoughts about his sister? I really doubt anyone would want to -BANG-!

Riza: -Puts gun away and calmly walks away-

Roy:...-Shivering-

**Question for Ed: Why wont you let Al have a cat? No dont tell me that you travel so much, blah, no way to keep him entertained, blah, blah, ya. I'll burn your eyes out if you dont let him keep one... Cackles evily and brings out a big, red flashlight-Flashlight Maniac**

Ed:You wouldn't dare burn my eyes out...And how can you with just a flashlight! You..You..Flashlight Maniac!

**Question for Izumi: Did Al ever beg for a cat when you were training him?-Flashlight Maniac**

Izumi: Why yes he did. I was feeling nice that day, so I dug up the grave where that girl's dead cat was and gave the rotting corpse to Al. He never asked me again.

**Question for Gluttony: Food+Food?-Flashlight Maniac**

Gluttony: More Food!Yay!Where?Where?

**Question for Lust: Would you ever go out with anyone?-Hokage Dezzy-kun**

Lust; What's with all these questions about my love life? I have no obligations to you!-runs-

**Question for Al: Why are you so absolutely-positively cute? (screams like a girl full of incest & anticipation)-Hokage Dezzy-kun**

Al:...People out there think that a big suit of talking armour is cute?..I fear for the fate of the world..

**Question for Ed:Why you don't wear uniform? That would make you hotter... (Yes, I love guys in uniform!)-SteelRose Alchemist**

Ed:-walks up to Roy- See? I told you there're people who think I'm hot!

**Question for Al: I have six kittens, want one?-SteelRose Alchemist**

Al: R-Really?YES!

**Question for Armstrong: WHY THE HELL DO YOU ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED?-SteelRose Alchemist**

Armstrong: Why that is a simple matter! My looks are so dazzling without my eyes open, that the world would be overwhelmed if I opened them!

**Question for Roy: What word best describes Riza?-redsoul**

Roy:Hmmm...I guess...Hot..Yes..I would certainly like to see her -BANG!-...N-Nevermind..It would b-be scary...-shivers-

**Question for Riza: Would you agree to the miniskirt rule if Roy becomes Fuhrer and you-know-what?-redsoul**

Riza: i gues I'd have to if he was Fuhrer..-sad-

**Question for King Bradley and/or Roy: What's it like to wear an eyepatch?-redsoul**

King Bradly: Fun!

Roy: I think it makes me more mysterious and, ATTRACTIVE!Well, if that's humanly possible..-smirk-

**Question for Armstrong: How did you get really large muscles?-redsoul**

Armstrong: With a strict family training that has been passed down trough the Armstrong family for generations!-flex-

**Question for Havoc: What's up with the bad luck with women?-redsoul**

Havoc:-looking sad-..It isn't my bad luck with women, it's Roy's good luck...-sob-

**Question for Fuery:Since you're a communications expert, can you make an ultra cool cellphone!-redsoul **

Fuery-Umm..I guess so..-muttering- why didn't I think of that..instead of saving money...-grumble-

**Question for Falman: Can you open your eyes much wider than what it looks like?-redsoul**

Falman:..No, but don't tell anyone!

**Question for Breda: Did you ever consider working on a diet?-redsoul**

Breda: A diet? Why would I need that? If I'm thin enough to be in the military, then it's fine with me.

**Question for Hughes: Why are you so obsessed with pictures, your wife and daughter?-redsoul**

Hughes: Obsessed? I'm not obsessed. But If I were, you can't blame me! I mean anyone with such a grrrrreeeatt wife and absolutely adorable daughter like mine would be obsessed...Wanna see a picture?

**Question for Ed: Why do you braid your hair? It looks much better loose.-Abbas-Heart-Edo**

Ed: Have you ever tried fighting off 3 homunculi with blonde hair flopping over your face?

**Question for Al: Ever thought of a girlfriend from MewMewPower?-Abbas-Heart-Edo**

Al:..I have actually..But, I'm a suit of talking armour and nobody wants to go out with me! -cries-

**Question for Dante: Have you ever tried a man's body?-Abbas-Heart-Edo**

Dante:...Once, and only by accident.

**Question for Lust: I think you and Envy are a great couple, what do you think?-Abbas-Heart-Edo**

Me: She couldn't answer, she was laughing too hard.

**Question for Everyone( I only used main characters): What's your favourite Fanta Flavour?-krizzygirl206**

Ed: Apple!

Al:Japanese Melon.

Roy:Birch Beer!

Riza: I don't drink it.

Hughes:Orange Vanilla. Wanna see some pictures of my family?Yes? Okay! Here's one of-I ran away before he could continue-

Lust:Cherry

Gluttony:All!

Envy:...Blood.TT

Wrath: Candy Cane!

Sloth: I dunno..

Greed:Cinnamon Rum.

Pride:...

Winry:Bubble Gum!

Armstrong:Passionfruit!

Havoc: I prefer beer instead.

Izumi: I can't drink it or I'll throw up.

Me:..I couldn't find the others..(meaning:I'm too lazy to type them up.)

**Question for Roy (Answer to his question about wearing a miniskirt): Er... Okay? But only if you wear one too!-krizzygirl206 **

Roy: Trust me, you do not want to see a man in a miniskirt.

**Question for Ed: I'm short too (about 5'2'') and I'm okay with it. Why do you get so mad? **

Ed:I'M NOT SHORT SO I WOULDN'T GET MAD!GRRRRRRR!

**Question for Ed: Will you marry me?-krizzygirl206**

Ed:After you call me a midget?NO!

**Question for Al: Since you love cats so much, do you want my crazy evil, cat of Satan, cat? Her name is Pikachu.-krizzygirl206**

Al:R-Really?YES!

**Question for Armstrong: What talent ISN'T in the Armstrong family?-krizzygirl206 **

Armstrong:Hmm..That is a very difficult question. Let me think...

-MUCH later-

Armstrong:None!

**Question for To Al: Sorry for the mental breakdown you had you rock,and yes to answer your question with another question why wouldn't people love kitties? **

Al:I-I..I dunno...

**Question for Wrath: -pokes Wrath- I hate you,DIE!Now are you gonna stop poking mice or do I have to kill you!you scare meMovie Spoiler Haha,but you already die to help Al in the movie so in your face!dX**

Wrath:-continues poking mice as hard as he can-Bwahahahahaha!-poke-

**Question for Kimbley: What's your true reason for going insane?-monkeymaniac1215**

Kimbley:Insane?Insane?Who's insane?N-Not me!Must find something to blow up...Agggh!

**Question for Al: Wanna cat?-monkeymaniac1215**

Al:-sniff-Yes! Everyone's so nice to me today!-cries tears of joy-

**Question for Ed: How come you don't wear stilts to make yourself taller, I mean It's logical isn't it?-monkeymaniac1215**

Ed:Stilts..Why didn't I think of that?It's so ovious now...

**Question for Roy: Why in the Hell are you so obsessed about miniskirts?-monkeymaniac1215**

Roy: I was born that way.

**Question for Havoc: How many ciggies do you go through in a day?-monkeymaniac1215**

Havoc:...58 on a good day.

**-AnimeMatrice**


	5. I'm Baaaack!

**Sorry It took so long to update but my computer was sick!**

**Disclaimer:I do not own FMA.**

**-grin-Okay! Here's a chart of their popularity question wise:**

**Ed:24**

**Al:20**

**Roy:21**

**Hughes:4**

**Elicia:3**

**Gracia:2**

**Riza:6**

**Breda:1**

**Fuery:1**

**Havoc:5**

**Armstrong:4**

**Falman:1**

**Skezka:1**

**King Bradly:1**

**Envy:6**

**Lust:4**

**Gluttony:3**

**Sloth:2**

**Wrath:5**

**Greed:3**

**Kimbley:4**

**Scar:1**

**Izumi:1**

**Winry:2**

**Pinako:1**

**Dante:1**

**Hoheiniem:2**

**Tucker:3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist! Stop asking me!**

**Question for Wrath: CAN I PET YOUR HAIR PLEASE?(hugs Wrath)-moofy-fan**

Wrath:Ahhhh! Lemme go!-struggles-Grrr!I don't really have any choice!MOMMY!

**Question for Greed: Why don't you follow Dante's orders?-redsoul**

Greed: Would you follows orders from an old bag who wants someone as young as me to be her lover? I didn't think so.

**Question for Envy: I REALLY HATE YOU FOR KILLING HUGHES!What do you have to say for yoursef!-redsoul**

Envy: I'm glad I killed that guy. Ever since he was born, death by boredom/annoyance was up 100!

**Question for Lust: When you were human, did you really fall in love with Scar's brother? WHAT'S IT LIKE!-redsoul**

Lust: No need to shout. I'm right here. Yeesh...And I can't remember if I really fell in love with him because all your shouting has given me a headache!

**Question for Wrath: How old are you? Seriously, I wanna know.-redsoul**

Wrath:I'm 11!

**Question for Pride: What can you see with the Ultimate Eye? Do you get X-ray vision or something like that?-redsoul**

Pride: Yup! I can see through peoples' clothing and stuff! And the thing is, none of the female officers know it! Hahahaha!

**Question for Sloth: You're really pretty but don't you think it's lame that your only power is water?-redsoul**

Me: She said thank you for calling her pretty and then tried to drown me.

**Question for Gluttony: Is there something, ANYTHING you don't consider as food?-redsoul**

Gluttony:Lust!

**Question for Hohenheim: I think you look like a walrus! What do you think?-slinko**

Hohenheim: A walrus? Are my front teeth that big?Hmm..I don't think so. I look more like a...cricket.

**Question for Gluttony: When you were human, were you a gorilla/human chimera?-slinko**

Gluttony:I was...a garbage dispenser!Never was..human...

**Question for Havoc: Is that really your hair? Or did you tape a ginea pig to your head?-slinko**

Havoc:-falls onto knees- Is..That..What..People...Think ...About ...My...Hair?...Maybe that's...Why girls are always..Dumping me for Roy...-depressed-

**Question for Fuery: Are you a vampire?-slinko**

Fuery:I certainly hope not!I'm scared of the dark!

**Question for Ed: First I'm gonna answer your question about my question. Duh I strap you to a chair, then turn on the flashlight, and put it in your face! How would you like it if Al begged for a... um... Oh ya! A puppy?-Flashlight Maniac**

Ed: He wants a cat, not a puppy! So he wouldn't ask that in the first place! Nyah, Nyah!

**Question for Al:Oops sorry for not telling you who I am. We will find a way to get you a kitty! Or another small furry animal. Ok, Im gonna ask Winry for her wrench to hit Ed in the head.-Flashlight Maniac**

Al: Really? But, if Ed gets hit, then he'll be unconcious and I still won't be able to get a kitty! And, if I did manage to get one from him...He'd probably...Probably..KILL IT!Waaiii!

**Question for Winry: Can I borrow your wrench? Ask Al why.-Flashlight Maniac**

Winry: I did, and you don't have to borrow it. I can hit him for you!

**Question for Riza: Are you happy having to follow Mustang around?-Flashlight Maniac **

Riza: Hmm..Yes, because I get to shoot him.-nodnod-

**Question for Dante: Why do you let Envy get away with dressing like a hooker? -DaRLinG1357**

Dante: Well, he really likes dressing like that, and I don't think any sane human would want to..use Envy for..anything of that kind.

**Question for Everyone: Have you ever read fanfictions? -DaRLinG1357**

Ed: Fanfiction? What's that?

Al: Only 'Ask the Cast' to read it..

Roy: Why yes I have! I espescially like the M rated ones where Riza-BANG- ...-shivering-Umm..where Riza..Shoots me?

Riza:No, I have enough problems with the real Roy.

Hughes: Yes I have. And it's a terrible shock to see that almost none of the stories even mention my beautiful daughter!

Envy: Those stupid things? Yeah, and they always call me crossdressing palm trees! WHAT ABOUT ME REMINDS PEOPLE OF A TROPICAL PLANT?

Lust: No, and Gluttony can't read.

Wrath: I write them!

Pride:Pfft! I don't care about such stupid things.

Sloth:No.

Greed: Too busy trying to dominate the world.

Havoc:Eh? What? I was too busy looking at girls...

**Question for Kimbley: Have you ever blown up Greed?-DaRLinG1357**

Kimbley:I've tried but he slapped me.

**Another Question for Kimbley: Did you tattoo your hands yourself or did someone else do it?-DaRLinG1357**

Kimbley: I did it myself.You know how long it took me?

**Yet another question for Kimbley: Did you know that you and Greed look hot together?-DaRLinG1357**

Kimbley:-spits out coffee in very disgusting way-

**Question for Ed: Are you getting it on with Roy?-DaRLinG1357**

Ed:-spits out juice in very disgusting way-

**Question for Sheska:Do you read manga?-DaRLinG1357**

Sheska: Umm.Yes, and I've found one called Fullmetal ALchemist that reminds me of something but I just can't place it..

**Question for Wrath: CAN I HUG YOU!-DaRLinG1357**

Wrath: Hell no!Why does everyone want to touch me?

**Question for Roy: Are you an illegal immigrant fron Xing?**

Roy:N-no...W-what would make you t-think that?-whispersAre you trying to get me arrested?

**Question for Gracia: What the hell do you SEE in Hughes?-slinko**

Gracia: Well, he's a very nice man when he's not obsessing over something or other...

**Question for Al: Why do you think everyone is offering you cats?-slinko**

Al:I-I-I..I have no idea...

**Question for ** **Scar: What would you do, if you saw Tucker dancing in the street yelling ' scar is an idiot!', wearing a shirt that says ' I hate ishballian scum' and banging pots and pans?-slinko **

Scar:I would slowly kill him, limb by limb untill only his head and torso is left . ThenI would throw him in a dumpster to be thrown out in the dumps where he will slowly bleed to death.

**Question for roy: do you know what I think? I think that the only reason you have an eyepatch is to hide your..um...robot eyeball! WhaddaÂ think of that?.!-slinko **

Roy:Robot eyeball?If I did have a 'robot eyeball', then I would've already taken over this world!Bwahahahahahahahahaha!...There isn't any gunshots because I carefully sent Hawkeye out to do some things in the courtyard! Bwahahahaha! So now I can say what ever I want! Bwahahahaha-BANG-!W-wh-what?-looks over to courtyard window which is now broken with Hawkeye calmly putting her gun away-...

**-AnimeMatrice**


	6. Apologies All around

**I'd better get a head start before I get even more questions to do...**

**Numdenu, I'm sorry I didn't answer your questions! It's just that I have too many to answer! I will answer everyones' questions eventually though!I'm being buried!**

**Disclaimer:I. Do. Not. Own. F.M.A.**

**Question for Ed: I'm sorry! You're taller than me, so you're not short! You never were! ... So will you marry me now? I'll give you some nice stilts or elavating shoes, or... Apple Fanta!-krizzygirl206 **

Ed:YOU'RE STILL GOING ON ABOUT THE STILTS?ARRRRRRGHH!I DON'T NEED THEM!

-later-

Ed: I already have elevator shoes!And Apple Fanta!Ha! There's nothing you can bribe me with!

**Question(?) for Hughes: I think you look like an otter.-King-dedede**

Hughes:..That isn't a question...

**Question for Elycia: Did you know that little boys and girls are made of string cheese?-King-dedede**

Me: Hughes intercepted this question, and as to not emotionally disturb Elyscia...

**Question for Al: I have 2 kitties and you can't have either one!Waddya think of that Mr. armor freak!MAWHAHAHAHAH!-King-dedede**

Al:Wh-Wha?I-I-I didn't ask for any..-sniff-S-so mean!-runs crying-

**Question for Al: Sorry 'bout that last question.Your actually my favorite character.-King-dedede**

Me:Al is refusing to answer any King-dedede questions. Sorry!

**For Elysia: Does your dad ever annoy you or embarress you in front of your friends?-King-dedede**

Hughes: Of course I don't! I'm probably one of the best dads in the world! No, make that THE best dad in the world! Bwahahaha!

**Question for Roy: I'll pay you ten million dollars if you go up to Riza and say something like " Hey sexy lady" or "hey hottie with a body that I wanna suduce tonight" or maybe "Is it raining hotness in her or is that just you?". Do it! Oh, and then spin around and kiss her!-King-dedede**

Roy: Are you trying to get me killed? If I do that, I'll die by shotgun and never will get the money!I tried that once before and almost died!

**Question for Roy and/or Riza: Are you and Roy/Riza secretly married?-King-dedede **

Roy: I have enough gunshot wounds just working with her. Imagine I LIVED with her. I'd be dead before end of day one!

**Question for Riza: If Roy asked you out would you go out with him?-XxTypoMasterxX**

Riza:...No.

**Question for Ed: Ya know if you wanna grow taller you should drink milk! It builds strong bone! How come you hate it?-XxTypoMasterxX**

Ed: ..MilkEvil...AND WHO SAID I NEED TO GET TALLER?-anger mark-I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY DAMN BONES!

**Question for Hughes:Hey Hughes...wana pics of my little niece! She's just so darn cute! almost as cute as Elicia!XxTypoMasterxX**

Hughes:Almost as cute as Elica? Ha! Nothing can be as cute as her or even close! My little girl is the cutest thing ever!

**Question for Furher Mustang: if you could see Riza in a miniskirt for TEN SECONDS then get shot, would it be worth the pain?-Roy-Fan-33**

Roy:YESSSSSSS!

**Question for Al: I can fix your kitty delema! Would you like me to transmute Ed into a cat chemira? (Ed couldn't say no to you then! Plus he'd have cute ears and a tail:3) -Roy-Fan-33**

Al:..Can people really do that?

**Question for Furher Mustang: Have you ever wanted to say, "Arr, I'm a pirate"? -Roy-Fan-33**

Roy:Yes, and I do, when no one's looking.

**Question for Scar: Do you bleach your hair? I haven't seen any other Ishbalands with white hair... -Roy-Fan-33**

Scar: I'm secretely an old man disguised as a younger person. I think my hair looks cool!

**Question for Havoc: Ever considered kidnapping Roy, locking him away in your dorm to keep him away from your girls? -Roy-Fan-33**

Havoc: He burned my dorm down and I had to sleep on the streets for a week..Never again..

**Question for Furher Mustang: What's your middle name? (Oh, I bet it's something embarassing! Where's Ed! He'd want to here this!) -Roy-Fan-33**

Roy: Middle name? Why it's...wait a minute..(looks under desk) Ed! Why are you under my desk with a tape recorder? Get out!

Ed:(while running)Damn! So close! Just you wait Mustang! I'll get you someday!

**Question for Breda: If I gave you a million sens, would you hold Black Hayate? holds up Hayate-Roy-Fan-33 **

Breda: No!(runs)

**Question for Hawkeye: holds up a brand new shiny 50cal sniper rifle Riza, would you wear a mini-skirt for this fabulos gun? -Roy-Fan-33**

Riza: Only if Mustang isn't around...(opens closet)Ah-Ha!

Roy:Umm..I'm..Uh..Looking for something?

**Question for Fury: What's your love life like anyways? -Roy-Fan-33**

Fury: Sadly..I have none..It's even worse than Havoc's cuz I can't even get a girlfriend in the first place..(sad)

**Question for Wrath: Isn't it annoying having hair covering half your face?-Roy-Fan-33 **

Wrath: Yes but Pride says I have to in order for the Homunuculi to look cool.

**Question for Roy: How did you meet and become friend with Maes?-Zekoi**

Hughes: Why that's simple! He was attracted to my unique and lovely personality and my darling wife! He's secretly jealous you know! Oh-Hoho!

Me:Riight. Now, where's Roy?

Hughes: If you're thinking I kidnapped him in order to appear, you're wrong!

Me:...

**Question for Hughes: Can I see your pictures of Elycia?(Always wanted Maes to attack me with pictures)-Zekoi**

Me: You realize if I gave him this picture I would be attacked? Also, Roy managed to escape and is now beating up Hughes so he can't really answer..(sound of fighting in background)

Roy: Damn you Hughes!

Hughes:Ahhh!I said I was sorry!

**Question for Ed: Why do you hate milk so much?-Zekoi**

Ed:I'll tell you: One day I was walking down the road minding my own beeswax (aged 6) when I passed a farm. I stopped to look at the chickens when all of a sudden a GINORMOUS cow came charging at me and attacked me viciously! Then it sat on me. All cows are evil!

Al: Actually, he was provoking the chickens and cows with a stick and the farmer came out. Ed ran away and ran into a calf who ignored him. He fell down and cried. The End.

Ed:..No!Lies!(runs)

**Question for Ed: Where do you get all of your "I'm not short" comebacks and what would you do if you ever ran out?-Aiko310**

Ed: I get all of my comebacks from, 'The big book of 'I'm not short!' comebacks', only 12.99 at chapters! If I run out...I'd..just kill the person..Bwahahahahaha...

**Question for Ed: Yeah I think you're hot! I love blondies!-drools- Can I glomp you?-SteelRose Alchemist**

Ed: Sure!

(another Ed walks in)

Ed2:What?

Ed1:errr..

Ed2: Wait you're not me! You're Roy wearing a blonde wig!

Roy!(runs)

**Question for Maes: I wanna meet Elysia! Let me please!(Puppy dog eyes)-SteelRose Alchemist**

Hughes: Sure! Cuz everyone needs to meet Elysia! Come to my house tomorrow at 3:00 p.m.!

**Question for Roy: You're ruining Havoc's love life by stealing all his girlfriends! Why do you do it?..Poor Havoc...-SteelRose Alchemist**

Roy: It's not my fault I'm hotter than him..

**Question for Al:Okay choose one!(holds out box of kitties)-SteelRose Alchemist**

Al:Yay!(reaches out to take one when..)

Ed:Noooooooooooooo!(matrix style jump)

Al:Nooooo!(hand gets hit by Ed)Oww...

Ed:Bwahahahahahahaha!

**Question for Al:How'd you get so obsessed with kitties?-Numdenu**

Al: I-I-I'm not obsessed..Am I?(twitch)AM I?KITTIES!

**Question for everyone:What's your fave video game?-Numdenu**

Everyone: The Fullmetal Alchemist video game of coarse!

Al: DDR!

Everyone:...(stare)

Al:...I-I-I'm sorry!(cries)

**-AnimeMatrice**


	7. Dundundun!

**The reveiws...piling up...can't..breathe..(GASP)**

**Disclaimer:I don't own FMA...But I do have a pretty cool FMA emoticon!**

**Question for Ed: Ed, are you and Winry going out or not?-FMAfreak129**

Ed:(Spews out blood)'coughcough'OF COURSE NOT!

Winry:(in corner)...What the...

**Question for Ed and Winry: When you were younger what was the stupidest thing you guys ever did ?-Lightpaws2.0**

Ed:..Well..It was in winter and..(interrupted)

Winry:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!SUPER-WRENCH ATTACK!(pulls out biggest wrench yet)

-BANG!-

Me:..err..It seems Ed is unable to answer...And Winry would kill him if he tried so...This question won't be answered...

**Question for Roy:How much gel do you use when you push your hair back? It looks... deadly. shies away-amrun'quessir **

Roy:Deadly? My doctor said it's only 95 of the way to deadly!...Besides, it makes me look good.

**Question for Al: Just for a change of pace, do you like poisonous snakes? I've got plenty!-amrun'quessir **

Ed:...Al ran away as soon as you said the word 'snake'.

**Question for Armstrong: My Family also has many sacred traditions passed down through the generations! We should talk about them sometime! flexes muscles-amrun'quessir **

Armstrong: At last! Someone who understands me and the importance of flexing!(cires happiness)

**Question for Havoc: Do you want to go out sometime? I think you're a whole lot hotter than Roy.-amrun'quessir **

Havoc:(pulls out clipboard)That makes one...(marks it down, then faints)

**Question for Ed: Your hair is hard to draw. Change it.-amrun'quessir **

Ed: N-(interuppted)

Havoc:YESSSS!OF COURSE!I-I-I'm so happy!(blows nose)

Ed:...What does that have to do with the question?

Havoc:..Not this one! The other one in which I fainted.Never got to answer so I'm using your space.

Ed:...

**Question for Barry the Chopper: Do you want to go to cooking class with me?-amrun'quessir **

Barry's answering machine: I'm sorry but I'm not availible at the moment. I'm probably killing people and if you need me, just step into a dark alleyway where no one can see you. Oh, and don't wear metal. That's too hard to chop.Leave a message after the tone. (BEEP)

**Question for Roy: You should become a masked avenger called: "God Complex Man" and run around buring villans to a crisp in tight spandex pants! That would be awesome!-amrun'quessir **

Roy:(into small transmitter)They're onto us!

**Question for Sloth: What else do you do besides being the secretary for the military and being a Philosopher's Stone hunting Homunuculus?-Terra**

Sloth:I watch paint dry...

**Question for Izumi: How many times during training did you beat up Ed?-Terra**

Izumi:Uncountable.So maybe infinity?

**Qustion for Wrath: Has anyone ever brought you to a park?-Terra**

Wrath: Yes, Envy did once. I killed everyone there. It was fun.-

**Question for Paniya: How many things have you stolen?-Terra**

Paniya:...I don't know...A lot?

**Question for Lust: How many humans have you killed?-Terra**

Lust:2349237491. And a dog.

**Question for Greed: How many cans of beer have you had?-Terra**

Greed:...Shut up...I'm having a hangover from...498375926286150823 beers...All from last night...(falls)

**Question for Kimbley: How do you keep from blowing yourself up?-InuJoey**

Kimbley:I can't. I've blown myself up multiple times and almost died seven times.

Me:O.o

**Question for Dr.Marcoh: DO the imcomplete Philosopher's stone always explode when their power is gone?-InuJoey**

Dr.Marcoh:Hmm..I don't know. Lucky I have one with me right now that(BOOM).'cough'Yess...They do..

**Question forE d and Al: In "With the River's Flow", aka ep. 38, who ACTUALLY won the alchemy fight? And the prison bars does not count, Ed!-gochen86**

Ed: I won of course! And the bars do count! So HA!

Al: No! I won!

Ed: I won!

Al:I won!

(fight)

This question will become one of the mysteries of the world...

**Question for Riza:If Roy actually got down on one knee, what would you say? HONESTLY? - Oh, and dont shoot him.-gochen86**

Riza:...No shooting eh?..Tough one..CanI use grenades? They're not shooting really. And if he did, he'd probably be drunk...sigh...grenades...

**Question for Al:Al, my sis wants to go out with you! Can you meet our two cats... -Abbas-heart-Edo**

Al:...Why do people want to go out with a suit of armour?..That's kinda strange..But I will meet your kitties!KITTIES!

**Question for Wrath: Wrath, do you need some ritalin?-Abbas-heart-Edo**

Wrath:...What? I wasn't paying attention...Can I go now? I see some kids having more fun than me and I want to kill them now...Please!

**Question for Envy and Ed: What do you think of Edvy?(Please don't kill me!)-Abbas-heart-Edo**

Me:..They muttered something like:Let's go kill...and walked off the set..Please Abbas-heart-Edo, hide!

-**AnimeMatrice**


	8. That sure took a loong time

**Sorry it took so long!! I've been really busy with work lately... Get those shovels working people!**

**Disclaimer: Wouldn't it be great if I owned FMA? Too bad I don't…(sigh)**

**Question for Greed and the chimeras: how many beers does it take to make you drunk:D-monkeymaniac1215 **

Greed: Drunk?? I can't get drunk! I'm the Ultimate Shield! Bwahahaha!!

Ed: (out of nowhere) What does that have to do with anything?

Greed:... He's on to us! Run!!!

**Question for Ed, Roy, and Al: Do you realize how many girls are obsessed with you? If yes, then how many?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Ed: (runs up to Roy) See??? Even more girls are obsessed with me! Height doesn't matter you liar!

Roy: (ignoring Ed) A lot of girls obviously. I'm so super-popular! Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! When I rule the world, all females will bow down!

Al: Girls like me??? (blush) B-But why??? (even redder)

**Question for Al: YOU ARE SO AWESOME! -cough- Now tell me, If you were forced on a blind date, who would you wish your date is? (Yes this is random...)-BlackStarAlchemist**

Al: You said the'd' word... O.O

Ed... Al, 'Date' isn't a bad word.

Al: LE GASP. You said it too!! (Shivers and hides in corner)

**Question for Roy: Will you wear a miniskirt just once?! Please! PWESE! I'll go on a date with you if you do! crosses fingers behind back-BlackStarAlchemist**

Roy: I can see you crossing fingers!!! And if you reeeeally want to see me in a miniskirt... I really can't...Riza swore she'd shoot me if I did that stunt again... No matter how many dates I was offered... (So sad)

**Question for Lust:** **Come on, there has to be some guy you like? Who is it?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Lust: (anger mark) I don't like anyone!! Stop asking!!!!!

**Question for Gluttony: What's Gluttony's favorite food? Not including Humans...-BlackStarAlchemist **

Gluttony...Human children...

**Question for Breda: What's up with the fear of dogs??-BlackStarAlchemist**

Breda: DOGS???WHERE??? AAAAHHHH!! (Runs)

**Question for Riza: Have you ever played Truth or Dare? Is so, then what's the most embarrassing dare you were forced to do??-BlackStarAlchemist**

Riza: To leave my guns alone for 5 minutes...

**Question for Roy: points to Riza's question Same thing.-BlackStarAlchemist**

Roy...Wear a miniskirt...In front of Riza...

**Question for Envy: Erm, sorry about making you cry last questions. You're my second favorite Homunculi, under Lust of course. So tell me...How many humans have you killed?-BlackStarAlchemist**

Envy: Under Lust???????????? 576746465518951564025 and 1/2. Soon to have one more...BlackStarAlchemist!!Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!

**Question for Lust: YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE HOUMCULI! You are soo awesome! You should be the leader of the Homunculi, not that old rotting corpse up there points to Dante-BlackStarAlchemist**

Lust: I could but then the 'show' would be too boring...Wouldn't it?

**Question for Edo-chan (Ed) and Roy: What do you do about fangirls??-NightSprit**

Ed: You don't want to know.

Roy:Heh heh heh...

**Question for Izumi: Ha... what was the worst possible punishment you gave to Ed and Al?-NightSprit**

Izumi: I made them give my grandfather a bath with their toothbrushes. And he was dead.

**Question for Al: Meow...:3-NightSprit**

Al: Who says I'm obsessed with cats???(twitch twitch) I'm not!!!!!!!

**Question for Gluttony: Anything you can't eat?-NightSprit**

Gluttony: AnimeMatrice! (and he's not just saying it because I made him!)

**Question for Edo again: Why are you so damn hot...? (LOL I'm a fangirl)-NightSprit**

Ed: I was born that way.

**Question for Archer: How did it feel to have half your body replaced my metal?-NightSprit**

Archer: I got half my body replaced by metal? Damn lying plastic surgeon...

**Question for Everyone: Who do you like?-monkeymaniac1215**

Roy: Me, myself, and all the hot fangirls out there!

Ed:...None of your beeswax…

Al: K-kitties.

-All homunculi were too busy destroying humanity to answer-

Riza:...Artillery...

Havoc: A lot of girls...

-And I'm too laz-...er.. Busy to ask the others...

**Question for Ed: Do you like Winry?-anime-girl98**

Ed:(spits out drink) Wha-What? Umm..I just remembered! I have a... Doctor's appointment! Seeya around! (Leaves in a hurry)

**Question for Al: What are you going to do once you're human again?-anime-girl98**

Al: Hug a kitty.

**Question for Wrath: Can you stop poking the mice? Oh, and can I hug you?-anime-girl98**

Wrath: Mice deserve to be poked... (Ignores other question)

**Question for Roy: Are you obsessed with miniskirts or something? Are you scared of Riza?-anime-girl98**

Roy: Miniskirts? Where??? I heard the words miniskirt and Riza. Is she wearing a miniskirt??? Damn paperwork! I wanna see!! I wanna see! (Sobs)

**Question for Shou Tucker: Do you like having your head flipped upside-down?-anime-girl98**

Shou:...Of course I love seeing the world upside-down!(in VERY girlish voice) OMG! It's so like, totally my childhood dream!(coughs) No.

**Question for Hoheniem: How many times have you married? How old are you?-anime-girl98**

Hoheniem: M-Married? Uh... Secret. Age? Secret too.

**Question for Envy: Do you like palm trees?-anime-girl98**

Envy: Why yes I do. Why do you ask?...I have a feeling there's a deeper meaning I'm not getting...

**Question for Al: Do you think fangirls are evil even though they give you everything that you want?-CrystalAlchemist59007**

Al:E-Evil?? N-No. Did I say that?? I think fangirls are nice...Even though some of them are crazy stalkers...And some are obsessed maniacs... But most of them are nice!... And the ones who gave me a nervous breakdown...(The list goes on!)


	9. Faster Faster!

**Ah-Hahaha! I'm gonna update faster now!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Not even a single figurine TT**

**Question for Ed: Can I cut your braided hair? It looks too girly. (Prepares a big ass pair of scissors behind her back) -Alenia Shadows**

Ed: Uhh...Hmm..What're the words I'm looking for? Oh yeah. HELL NO!!! I'M NOT GIRLY!!!!...Am I?

**Question for Ed: Would you kill all the people who paired you up with Roy in their stories? -Alenia Shadows**

Ed :( spits out even more juice)

**Question for Al: Besides cats, what other cute animals do you like? -Alenia Shadows**

Al: Bunny Rabbits!!(Sparkle!)

**Question for Gluttony: Would you eat anything in the world? (Prepares her mom's horrible cooking behind her back) -Alenia Shadows**

Gluttony: (stares at cooking) Uhh... (Sniffs)...Nopey.

**Question for Pride: You scared the shit out of my little cousin when you showed the 'Ultimate Eye' on TV. What have you got to say for yourself? (But nice job! I hate that little creep...) -Alenia Shadows**

Pride: I scare little children! Bwahahahahahaha!!

**Question for Lust: Do you use your nails to kill people? Or is it the gloves that extend and get all sharp that kill people? -Alenia Shadows**

Lust: Like! Omigosh! Guh! My nails! Omigod that is so like totally like...Bad! Gloves????? Omigosh!

**Question for Scar: What's your real name? -Alenia Shadows**

Scar: (In a very serious voice) Conky Ponky Finsyman.

**Question for Elisia: Do you love your daddy? Or are you embarrassed that he shows of pictures of you and you're mom 24 7? -Alenia Shadows**

Elisia: I like cake and teddy bears.

Me: Urm...That doesn't answer the question.

Elisia: I like cake and teddy bears.

Me: Um... Are you ok? (Pats head)

(Back of head lifts up to reveal...A ROBOT BRAIN!)

Me: OMG!

**Question for Roy: Have you ever tried to command Riza into wearing a mini-skirt? Is that even possible? -Alenia Shadows**

Roy: Sadly it isn't possible. I've tried...

**Question for Riza- How many bullets do you spend a day to get Roy to do his paperwork?- DaRLinG1357**

Riza: I stopped counting after 30.

**Question for Kimbley- Why did you go back to the military? Greed's cooler after all, he can't die from a gun! - DaRLinG1357**

Kimbley: He's too cool. He keeps stealing all the fangirls!

**Question for Envy- HOW COULD YOU HURT WRATH?!?!?!?! - DaRLinG1357**

Envy: How could I? Didn't you see how? First I...(Blahblahblah). And that's how I hurt Wrath.

**Question for Dante- Wouldn't it be funny if Greed asked out Sloth? 'Cause then that's another husband that fell for her! - DaRLinG1357**

Dante: FUNNY???? (Twitch Twitch) YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY???

**Question for Ed- You're kinda like Harry Potter, aren't you? Just angstier, moodier and shorter. - DaRLinG1357**

Ed: (ignores everything except the word shorter)!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'M NOT SHORTER THAN ANY STUPID BRITISH STICK WAVING LUNATIC!!

**Questions for Havoc- Did you only start smoking when you met Roy or what? - DaRLinG1357**

Havoc: H-how did you know?

**Question for Envy- What's your sexuality? - DaRLinG1357**

Envy:... Are you humans really that stupid? Obviously I'm a...I'm a...A...Guy?

**Question for Ed- Why were you so stupid when you were little? - DaRLinG1357**

Ed: I wasn't stupid! Just...Sugar-High all the time...

**Question for Kimbley- Who cut your hair? It looks...uh...sorta weird. - DaRLinG1357**

Kimbley: My hair doesn't look weird! It's just too advanced for all of you! Y-You just don't a-appreciate true style! (Breaks down in tears)

**Question for Ed- What's your total height and how long is your antennae-hair-thing? - DaRLinG1357**

Ed: Um. (Coughcough) That information is classified!

**Question for Fletcher: Why do you let Russell always pretend to be Ed? Next time he dose you should knock him out!-Moofy-Fan **

Fletcher: I-I-I...I was FINALLY asked to come on!!! I'm so happy!

**Question for Envy: I hate Hohenheim too, wanna team up and beat him to death with spoons?-Moofy-Fan**

Envy: Very, very sharp spoons.

**Question for Ed: First of all, I LOVE YOU! Second, did you know that**

**you and Envy look cute together?-Rosa Lee**

Ed: ... (Shocked into submission)

Envy: ... (Shocked into submission) Okay...That's another person to add to my hit list.

**Al: If he won't let you have a real cat... I guess you can have my beanie baby named Bleach. I cant have a real cat either.-FlashlightManiac**

Al: Beanie Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Winry: Thanks anyway. Sigh. He refuses, so... Hit him with a bazooka or**

**something! Wait never mind... I'll be killed by vegetables. –FlashlightManiac**

Winry: Um...Good luck with that.

**Ed: I know why you hate cats! They drink milk! Oh and expect a package for Al!! And if you destroy it.. You will feel the wrath of Neko-Sama! –FlashlightManiac**

Ed: CAT'S ARE EVIL! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIILLLLL! THE MILK! I SHALL FIGHT IT WITH MY HEART AND SOUL! DIE EVIL!

**Hughes: Cuz you have a house and the Elric Bros. come over so much... Get a cat for Elysia AND Al!! You see him all the time and Ed wont let him get a cat! -FlashlightManiac**

Hughes: But if I do that, the kitty will feel so bad about not even standing a chance with my widdle cute daughter! He'd be ignored by Al who just luuurves Elysia! I can tell these things!


	10. What a holiday

Hmmm…It has been a long time… Was on a bit of a writing holiday (a long one) but now I'm back.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

For Envy: Have you ever read a rated "M" fanfiction with you and Ed?- Super Lucky Tiki Charm

Envy: No… And what does the "M" stand for? Moo? That makes no sense. You humans are weird.

For Envy: Are you surprised that you've been paired with ROY before?- Super Lucky Tiki Charm

Envy: WTF! Wait… Who's Roy?

Stagehand: (whispers)

Envy: OH! That guy! Wait a minute… That 'guy'… WRRRRAAAAGH!!! YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE SO LUCKY NOW TIKI CHARM!

For Ed: Have you ever been to one of those "I'm fifteen but only 4'11'' inches tall" conventions before? I'm sure you would fit in just fine. -Smirks--Super Lucky Tiki Charm

Ed: (anger marks, and cracks knuckles.) Why-

Envy: Ed. Have you seen Super Lucky Tiki Charm? I'm going to go beat the crap out of it. (Yes it, charms aren't alive)

Ed: Bwahahahahaha! Another person on my list! (stalks off with Envy)

For Havoc: Is there ever a time when you're not smoking?-CrystalMind

Havoc: Actually, I'm not really smoking. It's just in my mouth…

For Havoc: Given what scientific studies have shown about smoking drastically increasing the risk of lung cancer, how long do you expect to live?-CrystalMind

Havoc: Eh well… Lemme check my watch… Hmm… I should die about… Now-(falls over)

For Al: If Ed would let you get a dog instead of a cat would you get

one?- whatever55

Al: NO!!! THE KITTY IS SACRED! HOW DARE YOU SPOIL THE KITTY'S NAME WITH THE THOUGHT OF DOGS! SACRED OH GREAT KITTY! I GIVE MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES FOR THIS QUESTION! OOH!!! KITTY!!!!!

For Ed: How can you be so mean to Al let him get a cat before you are

killed by Envy or did you forget that you are going to die?- whatever55

Ed: I'm not going to die! I'm the main character! The main character NEVER dies!

For Envy: Are you really Ed and Al's brother or did you just tell Ed you were, so you could kill him easer?- whatever55

Stagehand: Err… Envy isn't here. He went off mumbling something about a Tiki Charm…

For Ed: If you actually grew as big as Godzilla, what would you do?- Sapphire225

Ed: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

For Al: How many kittens have you picked off the road?- Sapphire225

Al: Umm, umm… What comes after infinity?

For Roy: Have you ever looked under a girl's skirt or burned it?- Sapphire225

Roy: Eh-Heh-heh! Of course I've looked under a girl's skirt! In fact, I've gone waaaay farther than that! Eh-Heh-Heh! Why I've eve-

Riza: (loads gun)

Roy: Ehh… You probably know what's going to happen…

For Roy: Would you consider yourself a pervert?- Sapphire225

Roy: A pervert! Why how dare you even mention that idea! I'm the complete opposite of a pervert! The girls look at me! Oh-Ho-Ho-Ho! Blah blah blah blah…

For Havoc: I know a girl who wants to date you. Do you accept?

Havoc:!!!!Yes! Yes! Yes!! That's another point for me!! Yess!

For Ed: Will you marry my friend? She thinks you're not at all short and that you're better than the colonel.- Sapphire225

Ed: Really really… Well of course! I'm not short! And obviously I'm better than a certain colonel! But marry? I'll think about it (crosses fingers).

For Riza: Had you ever had to shoot at Hayate again?- Sapphire225

Riza: Nope. But I have had to shoot at the colonel several times again…

For Scar: If you lived here, would you call yourself a bit of a Muslim? (No, I'm not insulting Muslims or anything)- Sapphire225

Scar: A Muslim? What's a Muslim? I'm Ishbalen.

Roy: I'm afraid Scar, you're not.

Scar: What do you mean?

Roy: Well, you see… I AM YOUR FATHER!

Scar: NOOOOOOO!

Question for Trisha, Hohenheim, and Ed: When Al was a baby; do any of you remember having a cat in the house? It's for a...theory...yessums, a theory.-Numdenu

Trisha: A cat? No… Wait a minute! Aren't I dead???

Hoheniem: Er… I'm supposed to be dead too.

Ed:… Why are there dead people here?


	11. OO

Bwahahahahaha!

Disclaimer: I named my computer Aoi Kyogoku! I have him, but no FMA… (The first person to tell me the series he's from wins a prize!)

For Envy: Would you mind standing in the corner in my room so I can tell all my friends that I'm a gardener because I have a palm tree in my room? Please? I'll give you a cookie. - El loco uno

Envy: What do I have to do with a palm tree??? But a cookie you say...

For Ed: Did you know that with your boots and anntenae you're about my height? - El loco uno

Ed: That means nothing!! (Twitch)You're probably a giant or something. Or 19+. Don't think you're so good!!!

For Fuery: You are awesome!! So much cooler than Roy...You are adorable!! –Give you basket of cookies- Do you want to come live in my bedroom with Envy? - El loco uno

Fuery: COOOOOOKIIIEEEESSS!!!! (Grabs and runs)

For Hughes: Will you divorce Gracia and marry me instead? Please? If not, I'm afraid that I'll be forced to glomp you until the end of eternity -glomps you--El loco uno

Hughes: Geh! (Pushes El Loco uno off) I'm terribly sorry! But I just love my wife sooooooooooooo much! She's so... So... PERFECT! I just couldn't leave her! Not even for a basket of cookies!

For Ed: are you an alcoholic in conqueror of Shambala cause there is a bottle of whiskey on the desk by your bed?-feefee223

Ed: Wh-what bottle of whiskey? I-I-I'm not a secret alcoholic! But only if you're thinking that! Uhhh... I-I-I have to go now! B-Bye! (runs)

For Havoc: I seriously don't understand why you can't get a date! I mean, you're freaking awesome (Mustang is EVIL!)! Wanna go out sometime? - -Pwn-proof-Armor-

Havoc: YES! YES YES! (Does little jiggy dance) YESSSS! YESSS! YESS! TAKE THAT MUSTANG! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Question for Frank Archer: I'm sorry if this sounds like a ridiculous question, but are you a vampire? - Ariusa-chan

Frank Archer: That's ridiculous! Vampire, really! I'm a boogie-man! Get your mythical creatures right!

Question for Envy and Greed: Are you two vampires? 'Cause you two have pointy teeth. Oh, did you know that most people think you two are lovers? I've heard of fanfictions and pictures that involve you two doing...Very gross stuff. - Ariusa-chan

Envy: I'm a homunculus! NOT. A. VAMPIRE! GROSS STUFF?? GROSS STUFF? WHAT THE (censored) IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMANS! GREED IS A STUPID, LAZY DRUNK... GREEDY (censored)!

Greed :...( Is totally stoned)

Question for Sheska: What kind of books do you like? Also, did you know most people think you and Winry are lovers? - Ariusa-chan

Sheska: I love all kinds of books! Except the... You know. The BAD kind. And how am I Winry's lover? I'm just her friend! (blah blah blah blah)

Ed: Why the hell are you so afraid of milk? And don't say you just hate it; I know it stems from a past trauma somewhere in your life-Ra Cho Tamer

Ed: (Erk!) Past trauma? Do you think a stupid COW could cause me, the GREAT Edward Elric a TRAUMA? I DON'T THINK SO!

Al: I know how hard it is to get Ed to give you a kitty, so... have you ever thought about getting a robotic kitty so then Ed won't complain about keeping it? All you have to do is change the batteries one in a while...- Ra Cho Tamer

Al: Sadly, batteries and robotic kitties haven't been invented yet...

Roy: Where did the idea of the mini-skirts come about? Has it been a life-long dream or did it just randomly pop into your head one day? - Ra Cho Tamer

Roy: Ah! That story! Well, one day I went for a walk down the street, (Havoc: More like girl watching...) A WALK down the street, when I noticed multiple females ranging from ages 18-28. I went back to Central, but something just felt like it was missing. And thus, my dream!

Riza: What's it like watching the Flame Alchemist? I know quite a number of fangirls who want to kill you just so then they can have your job. - Ra Cho Tamer

Riza: Very tiring... I've probably wasted a LOT of money just to buy bullets to keep him in place. But I cannot leave, or else all hell would break out in his office. So... TOO BAD SUCKERS! YOU WANT MY JOB DON'T YOU??? BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD, AND NONE OF YOU WILL EVER GET IT! TAKE THAT WORLD! WOO-HOO!!

Havoc: How many times has Roy stolen your dates? - Ra Cho Tamer

Havoc: Well-

Riza: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Havoc: Well-

Riza: SUCKERRRRRSS!

Havoc: ... Let's just forget it...

Izumi: Have you ever had those 'aw' moments when you were instructing Ed and Al when they were kids? Any misadventures? - Ra Cho Tamer

Izumi: Well of course! There was the one time where we went to a dairy farm and-

Ed: NO DON'T! (Drags Izumi away)

Hohenheim: What the hell did you see in Dante? The woman is a psychopath!!- Ra Cho Tamer

Hohenheim: I find that attractive in a woman.

Dante: Why the hell do you want to live forever? That's Greed's goal! - Ra Cho Tamer

Dante: OMG! You're right! I better go get a new dream right away! Live forever! I better kill myself right now! (Kills herself in a very bloody way)

Stagehand: I'm not cleaning that up...

Greed: Two questions - Firstly, where did you get those glasses? And secondly... can I poke you, hug you, and then glomp you? -Big, innocent smile--Ra Cho Tamer

Greed: 1. I made them from bottle caps.

2. Sure! As long as you're a girl. O.O

Envy: I can understand why you hate Hohenheim, but why do you want to kill Ed? He's practically your half brother. - Ra Cho Tamer

Envy: Practically! He IS my half brother the short little-

Ed: (body slams Envy) WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE NEEDS A LADDER TO GET UP THE CURB??? (Beats up Envy)

Lust: I'll be blunt - How come your boobs are so big? - Ra Cho Tamer

Lust: 'Cuz the philosopher's stone enhances EVERYTHING! And I mean EVERYTHING!

Gluttony: Have you ever devoured something that has given you a stomach ache? - Ra Cho Tamer

Gluttony: Eggs...

Wrath: Do you brush your hair? It looks kinda tangled every time I see it...- Ra Cho Tamer

Wrath: It's called style! Don't I look so cool?

Pride: What is it like to be Furher of the military? Also, why don't you force the women in the military to wear mini-skirts? - Ra Cho Tamer

Pride: I'm not a certain perverted Colonel. (Cough) Roy Mustang (cough). And being Furher is so fun! I get one of those big spinney chairs, and I can spin in it all day long! Wheeeeeeee! (Runs off)

Sloth: -Ra Cho Tamer

Sloth: Well that's nice! Ask everybody else the questions! I haven't even been asked once yet I don't think! Stupid ENVY gets all the questions. (Cries)

Kimblee: Why the HELL do you want to blow stuff up all the time? My parents think that I'm about as crazy as you ever since they saw episode 30. And that's not a good thing! - Ra Cho Tamer

Kimblee: (Evil Cackle) Krawhahahahahahahahaha! (Blows up set cameras)

Stagehand: I'm so not cleaning that up.

Dorchette: What's it like to have an enhanced sense of smell? - Ra Cho Tamer

Dorchette: Bad. Have you ever lived with a Homunculi who doesn't bath at all with smell 200 times normal human smell???? Yuck!

Roa: Have you ever had to stop anyone doing something incredibly...stupid, for lack of a better word? - Ra Cho Tamer

Roa: Dorchette sniffing his own ... "Body"

Martel: Who do you find yourself fighting with the most? - Ra Cho Tamer

Martel: Sadly, it's the mirror. It just never agrees with me...

Scar: Kimblee is next door. Will you at least TRY to blow him up for me? Please? You'll get a robo kitty if you do...- Ra Cho Tamer

Scar: Why on Earth would I want a-

Al: GIVE ME THE KITTYYYYYY!!!!! I'LL GO AND TRY TO BLOW KIMBLEE UP RIGHT NOW! JUST GIVE ME THE KITTY!!! KITTY!!! (Runs off screaming like a lunatic)


	12. Reunited once again!

Seems like I still get reviews for this, even now, so I figure I'd update. (Seems like some people still read this! Cool.) I'll start with some old questions first…

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.

**  
For Greed: Your teeth are pointy right?Did you file them to be like that or are they naturaly that way? - King-dedede**

Greed: Ah, teeth this nice can't possibly be created with such crude methods like filing. I was just born this way, with a full set of pointy teeth. You should see my baby pictures.

**  
For Maes: Your beard is lame! You should have a gotee! - King-dedede  
**

Maes: Well, my wife finds it sexy. (wink)

**For Roy: If I slapped you in the face with an armadillo right now what would you do? - King-dedede  
**

Roy: Set it on fire. Then eat it in front of you without asking if you'd like some. Now that, is truly evil.

**For Al: My cat is sitting on my computer right now. What do you think of this? - King-dedede**

Al: (twitch) Kitty? Kitty?! KITTY! (runs off set)

Ed: Al, where are you going?!

Al: KITTYYY! (fades into distance)

**For Roy: What's up with the -BANG--shiver- thing w/ Riza? - AnimeLover_1435**

Roy: (Looks nervously behind him) I have n-no idea what you're talking about. Ha hahaha... ha ha... (gulp)

**For Ed: Have you ever considered cuting your hair? It makes you look taller+ It gives the effect (or rather, illusion) that you're young-er!! - D**

Ed: What? Why didn't anyone tell me this earlier?! N-not that I would need it to look ...taller or anything. (Looks away)

**For the entire cast: Who do you think is more slashable? Envy, Ed, or Roy? Because you see these edvy, royed, royenvy, envywrath, edal(disturbing...), royhavoc, roymaes(also disturbing), and envygreed fanfics everywhere!  
oh yeah, i really hope none of them read this question, I'm way too young to die! *hides in a closet* - DaRLinG1357**

Ed: Slashable? What does that mean?

Envy: Cuttable I think. How easily cut someone is.

Roy: What? That makes no sense... Why would anyone want to know how cuttable we are?

Riza: Sir, I don't think cuttable is a real word.

Havoc: Sure it is, I'm cuttable, you're cuttable, we're all cuttable!

Hughes: We could make a cuttable song!

Havoc: No.

Ed: Cuttable huh? Well, I guess we're all the same amount of... cuttable ness.

Al: 'Cept me!

Greed: Are you all a bunch of idiots?! Slashable doesn't mean cuttable, it means-(whispers to everyone)

Ed: ...My god.

Envy: (glare)

Al: I'm not feeling so good nii-san...

Roy: Well, that's just ridiculous! I don't like men! I like boobs! Boobs I tell you!

Havoc: Same here, colonel!

Riza: (facepalm) Next!

**For Envy: Are you gender confused? Just wondering. - RyukoGirl  
**

Envy: Gender confusion, gayness, plant mimicry, why is everyone asking these types of questions?! Gah! I... just like skirts. To fight in. Not to wear. Yeah. That's it. (shifty eyes)

**  
For Ed: ...You're taller than me, you know that, right? Oo WHY DO YOU FREAKING COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING SHORT? I'm /shorter/, and I'm the same age as you D: And short is hot on you, anyhow. You'll never get to see this piece of fanart on my wall of you taller, either. XDD; -cough- Mwahaha! - RyukoGirl  
**

Ed: I don't complain about anything! (feels good about the taller part) Short on me is hot? Wha? Fanart...(blush) THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT!

**  
For Roy: Do you have a secret thing for Ed? You'd make a marvelous couple. Hehehehe... - RyukoGirl  
**

Roy: Well, a secret's not a secret if I say it out here, now is it? (wink)

Ed: ... (backs away)

**  
For Hughes: What would you resort to if Elysia and Gracia just died at this moment? - RyukoGirl  
**

Hughes: (frozen in place)

Roy: Hughes, get a hold of yourself! No one's dying!

Hughes: (still frozen)

Roy: Next!

**  
For Havoc: YOU'RE GONNA DIE OF LUNG CANCER. D: That's why you can't get a girlfriend. You're freaking gonna die. EVER THINK OF THAT? Huh? HUH? - RyukoGirl  
**

Havoc: ...My god! You're, you're, being so mean! Gah! (clutches head) That's not true! I'll get a girlfriend way before anything like that ever happens. I WILL. (quivers) S-shut up! I'm not sad! (wipes eyes) Just got some smoke in my eyes. (clenches)

**  
For Al: Is it okay for me to draw fanart of you stripping, with your body back? I'll let you have my kitty, Moo-moo! xP - RyukoGirl  
**

Al: A stripping body is better than no body at all! Go ahead. NOW, GIVE ME THE KITTY.

**  
For Al: Oh, and, my friend Tay wants to go out with you. Would you? – RyukoGirl**

Al: ...For a kitty? Why y-

Ed: NO.

Al: ;_; But nii-san!

Ed: Stop trying to trick people into giving you kitties!

Al: I have no idea what you're talking about. (looks away)

**Question for Ed: How come you're so badass for a shorty? - adri66215  
**

Ed: I was born that way. (puts on sunglasses)

**  
Question for Al: If you ever get your body back, would you consider going out with me? -bats eyes cutely- Oh, and can I give you a hug? I'll give you a super cute kitty that I found! - adri66215  
**

Al: Why yes, yes I would.

Ed: What did I just say about this?! No kitties! Or going out with girls for kitties!

Al: B-but-

Ed: NEXT!

**  
Question for Roy: How long were you a charmer to the ladies? - adri66215**

Roy:At the hospital where I was born, all the nurses were swooning over me. I was the slickest baby that you'd ever seen. Getting several confessions a day, in fact. Heh, and this one time when I was- (BANG!) GAH! (turns around)

Riza: (cocks gun)

Roy: (cold sweat) When are you going to run out of bullets?!

**Question for Riza: How long did it take you to get so good with the guns? - adri66215  
**

Riza: A while, but as long as you practice and try your best, you's be able to do this too. Being dedicated is what it's all about. I can even do this. (shoots behind herself without looking)

Roy: (talking to female stagehand) So, come here-(BANG!) GAH! WHA-? How do you do that?!

**  
Question for Armstrong: Why in the world do you like to flex your muscles in people's faces? - adri66215  
**

Armstrong: Ah-hahahahaha! (flex) To show the world the glory of the Armstrong family of course! (flex flex)

**  
Question for Havoc: Have you ever considered not smoking to try and get lucky with the ladies? - adri66215  
**

Havoc: The ladies like a cool looking-dude with a cig. Ups my attractiveness level by 5.

**  
Question for Envy: Why are you so sadistic? - adri66215  
**

Envy: Wha? Oh sorry, I was busy picking the wings off of butterflies. Could you repeat that? (evil grin)

**  
Question for Lust: How long did it take to master your nail trick? - adri66215**

Lust: Natural ability, my dear.****

Question for Gluttony: Why are you so creepy? - adri66215  


Gluttony: (swivels head around a couple of times) Hungry. Hunnngryy. Eh-heh. (locks eyes on **you**)

Stagehand: Well, ALRIGHT THEN! Next! Please. Hurry.

**  
Question for Greed: Which of these do you really want: money, women, fame, or power? - adri66215  
**

Greed: Them all! You can't just have one over the other! They all go hand in hand! Power gets you fame and money, which brings in the women! This works from any angle.

**  
Question for Wrath: Why are the cutest out of the other homunculi? - adri66215  
**

Wrath: Thanks! Mainly it's because they're all ugly old guys. (smile)

Envy: Hey. What'd you call me?

Wrath: Oh, I'm sorry. Ugly old LADIES. Happy now?

Envy: (twitch) Why you little punk! Gah! (lunges)

Wrath: Oh, I'm sooo scared! (dodges and runs off set withi Envy following)

**  
Question for Sloth: How long did it take to master your water trick? - adri66215  
**

Sloth: A while.

Lust: ... That's not very helpful.

**  
Question for Pride: How long did it take to master using a sword? - adri66215  
**

Pride: A while.

Lust: You're just like Sloth...

**  
Question for Dante: Why do you think you're more superior than humans? - adri66215  
**

Dante: Ridiculous, what a ridiculous question. Can't you tell? Everything about me is better. Fah. (flicks hair)

**  
Question for Everyone: Have any of you heard of a game called Kingdom Hearts? If you have, what do you think of it? - adri66215**

Ed: Kingdom Hearts? What's that?

Al: Does it have kitties in it?

Ed: I doubt it.

Al: ...Then it has no use to me. (cold stare)

Everyone: (_Dark Alphonse...?)_

**-AnimeMatrice**


	13. Squid hats and more

…I figure I might as well slog through all of the reviews waiting to be done, as that's only fair to the reviewers. I'd be pretty mad if I spent time thinking up questions, and didn't get any response. (Even if it came 2 years later, that'd be better than nothing.) I'll go through some old ones, and add some of the more recent ones at the bottom.

...Why are there so many 'everyone' questions?

Disclaimer: I do not own it. Do people still need to use these?

**Question for Riza: If Roy proposed to you this very second, would you say yes? -Shizue Aoki**

Riza: No.

Roy: That was a very fast answer...

**Question for Riza and Roy: Why don't you at least admit to yourselves THAT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER? -Shizue Aoki**

Roy: (cough) That's, err well... I wouldn't dare confine myself to just one woman. All the girls of the world need me! If I were to somehow disappear from their lives, and marry my lieutenant, how would they go on? (shrug)

Riza: (rubs forehead)

**For Roy: Do you have an auto party button in your desk that makes pandas in bikinis come out of your desk and offer you whiskey? -slinko**

Roy: What?! That's ridiculous! I wouldn't find bikini pandas very attractive! If anything, I'd have miniskirt girls come out! Pandas indeed...****

For Havoc: I think that if you wore a squid on your head you'd attract more girls. What do you think? -slinko  


Havoc: Really?! Is this some new fad? Girls like squid hats now? My god, this explains everything! I- I need to go get one right away. (runs off)

**  
For Ed: Do you relize that everytime you and Roy are paired in a fanfic a kitten is killed? -slinko**

Ed: What?! That's ridicule-

Al: WHAAAAAAAAAT?! (Grabs Ed) Nii-san, you, you... Monster! I forbid you to ever go out with the Colonel! (deep voice)_ And leave the kitties alone._

Ed: Eh?! Why would I ever even... With that guy-! That's just... (shiver) And, uh, Al? You can... let go of me now. You're hurting me...

Al: Hisssssss!

Ed: Um. Next!

**For Havoc: You're too cute! Why won't you be mine? –DarknessConsumesDreams**

Havoc: (Now sporting the squid hat)...Eh? (cigarette falls out of mouth) It works! It really does work! (pumps fist) Wahoo! All of my girl problems are solved! They'll come running in droves. All thanks to, (poses) my squid hat.

**  
For Roy: Why won't YOU wear mini's? -DarknessConsumesDreams**

Roy: Miniskirt men?! Blah, that would be-

Riza: Yes, Colonel, why _don't_ you wear a miniskirt? (leans towards Roy) The only way to start a trend is by wearing the things yourself first, you know.

Roy: Uh, well... (cold sweat, and looks away) Next!

**  
For Roy: How do you explain this?*holds up dirty pic of him and ed*-DarknessConsumesDreams**

Roy: What?! Where did you get that from?! (snatches picture) This... this... Uh, wow, this is pretty graphic. But, isn't this just-

**  
For Ed:(Same question.) -DarknessConsumesDreams**

Ed: (takes picture out of Roy's hands) Whaaaaaaaat? This is a very, very crudely photoshopped picture! You can clearly see where my head was pasted on this person's body! And it's not even a guy body! I'm not a woman! But... Roy doesn't actually seem to be photosho-

Roy: PHOTOSHOPPED! Yes! That's what it is. Mhm. AH-hahahaha! Yes, it's certainly not a real picture that only Edward's head was added onto! Ha- hahaha... (snatches picture back) Well, since no one will be needing this anymore... (snaps fingers, and picture disintegrates into ash) Yup. NEXT!

**  
For Envy: Why is there fanfics of you and Greed doing it? -DarknessConsumesDreams**

Envy: Whaaa? How can I explain the sick minds of the weirdos in this world? Pah. I've even heard that there are men that wear miniskirts. (looks at Roy)

Roy: I'm not! Look who's talking!

Envy: This is a _skort_, not a miniskirt! Geez.

**For Shou Tucker: Have any of your chimeras ever escaped? Also are any of them safe to have as pets? –InuJoey**

Shou: None none none have ever escaped. Their cages make sure of that. As for pets, that's why I created my special line of Dog/Cat/Bird/Fish! By combining the parts of the most common household pets, I have created an animal with the friendliness of a dog, the cuteness of a cat, the flight of a bird, and the ability to breathe water! And it only costs 4 easy payments of $69.99, and a body part of your choice! (Assembly not Included!)

**For Roy: What would you do if your date slapped you...hard...with her purse? -CrystalMind**

Roy: Pfft, that is extremely unlikely to ever happen, you know. I always make sure my dates are satisfied. (wink)

Riza: ... (click) Hm? Out of bullets...

Roy: W-Well, I guess we'd better move onto the next questions! Before she reloads. Please.

**For Kimbley/Martel: Are you ever going to date? -monkeymaniac1215**

Kimbley: Uh. No thanks.

Martel: Yyyyeahh... No thanks.

**For EVERYONE: Can I have a FRIENDLY hug? Please? Ed, you're really tall! Um...Envy, you're NOT a palmtree! Riza! You're...-searches dictionary for correct adjective- purple. -Skyler25**

Ed: Tall huh?(smile) Well, I have been growing recently. (strokes chin)

Al: I think my armour would hurt you...

Roy: Anything for my fans. (grin)

Hughes: Hahahaha, sure. (poses)

Havoc: Squid hat seems to be working.

Fuery: Um, sure? Havoc, your head is starting to... smell kinda funny.

Armstrong: But of course! (glitters)

Envy: Darn straight I'm not a palm tree! Where do you people even think of these things?! Good for you, Skyler. But no hug. I'm not a big fan of hugs. Even friendly ones.

Greed: Sure, babe.

Riza: ...

**For Scar, Hughes, Havoc, Roy, Fuery, and Ed: You six! Buttsmex orgy! NOW! – Pichi Wo**

Scar: ... (cracks shoulder)

Hughes: Oh my, sorry, but I'm a one woman guy. My wife would definitely not approve.

Roy: I don't think that's the problem here...

Fuery: Eh?!

Ed: Who's filtering these questions?!

**Question for Ed: Why Do you not want Al to have kitties? Are you part of a Anti-Kitty Club? -richard9311**

Ed: What?! Is there really a club like that? You really shouldn't tell Al that or he'll-

Al: Tell me what?

Ed: Nothing. (looks away)****

Question for Al: I know everyones asking About the Kitties and you, so... Do you want a kitty(s)? *Gives 10,00 Kitties* -richard9311  


Al: WOW! KITTIES! WHERE'D THESE ALL COME FROM! WOW! Wait till Nii-san sees these-(turns around) Hey, Nii-san, look at all of these kitties! Nii-san? (looks around) Wha? Where'd he go...? Well, at least I have all of these- Kitties...? KITTIES?! Where'd you go?! Kitties?!

Ed: (dragging huge bag) Gotta make sure Al doesn't-

Al: NII-SAN, NII-SAN, ALL OF MY KITTIES ARE MISSING!

Ed: Oh, uh, you don't say. (fail hides bag behind back)

Al: What's in that bag?

Ed: Uh, nothing.

Huge Bag: Meow. Meeeow. Meeeow.

Al: A meowing bag...? Right after my kitties have disappeared...

Ed: Uh, no! This is not a huge bag full of kitties. It's just a... meowing bag. I uh, transmuted it right now. Inside there are actually... Uh... potatoes. Yeah. (shifty eyes)

Al: A bag full of meowing potatoes...? You're weird, Nii-san.

Ed: Um, yup, that's me. (looks away) Next!

**  
Question for Roy: Have you Stalked Riza to her house? -richard9311  
**

Roy: What?! No, that is a ridiculous question! I would never follow her home and watch her change through the windows!

Riza: ...What?

Roy: I would never follow her home! That's what I said. Nothing more. (looks away)

**  
Qusetion for Riza: Have you realized Roy is stalking you to your house? -richard9311  
**

Riza: No, but now that I think about it... (sigh) (rubs forehead)

**  
Question for Huges: You should get your camera and take pictures of Roy Stalking Riza on her way home. The show them to Riza! -richard9311  
**

Hughes: Any excuse to use my camera! I'll take it! Hey Roy, next time you go stalk Riza, let me tag along and take some pictures, okay?

Roy: What?! I don't stalk her! This is ridiculous.

Havoc: You crazy stalker. Just how far will you go to get women?!

Roy: Coming from the guy with a squid on his head, that doesn't sound very convincing!

Havoc: It's fashionable! Obviously you don't know what's trendy.

**  
Question for Envy: How do you take it when someone walks up to you and calls you a "Cross dressing Palm Tree"? -richard9311  
**

Envy: Don't talk about these things like they happen to me all the time! Gah!

**  
Question for everyone: You know, Millions of people across the globe watch every move you make in a TV show? -richard9311**

Ed: What?

Al: We have a TV show? Fans could send in kitties to show their appreciation!

Winry: Eh?! I'm on TV? I'm a star! (clasps hands)

Roy: Hahaha, even being on TV wouldn't increase my popularity. It can't possible get any higher. I bet I'm the #1 favourite character.

Ed: It'd be me! Obviously I'm the main character, stupid Colonel.

Roy: A shorty like you? Pfft.

Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLING SHORTER THAN AN ANT'S FOOTPRINT?!

Al: (holding Ed back) Nii-san, he didn't call you that!

Envy: This is ridiculous. I'm on TV now, am I? Pah. I barely know what a TV is!

Hughes: Even more people to admire my family! See, these pictures I took this morning, look how cute she is! In the raincoat, jumping through some puddles, and in this one-

Havoc: What have you started!

Hughes:- she's found a frog! She named it Sergeant Hops you know! Looks how cute she is doing-

**For Ed: If you got the choice of getting Als body,growing 6 inches,getting to Kill Roy,or destroying all milk in the world,which would you choose? –Eevee**

Ed: That's... Hmm. Obvious, I'd ... (glances at Al) Get Al's Body back. (cough) _Grow 6 inches_ (cough)

Al: Brother?!

**For Wrath: Everyone wants to hug you because you and your hair is awesome!! (the voices in my head are screaming, "HUG WRATH! HUG WRATH!" but I won't) Heeyy, can you annihilate the world with hyperness? Can I join you? I scare my friends with raw energy and psychotic...ness...xD~ Then we can write a fanfic about it! And laugh at the bloody carnage and people dying blaze of hyped energy~! I write fics too~and by the way, 11 is one of the awesomest numbers ever. Have thought that since last year. - ~HyperLittlePsycho-chibi~**

**  
**Wrath: But if we annihilate the world, how would you be able to find people to read the fanfics?! And 11 is a pretty cool number, I have to admit.

**  
For Envy: Because of you I adore palm trees now. I have enclosed a gift package for you of one so you can take out your anger on it. And can you go kill (brutally) all the Edvy fangirls? Dig out their eyes with spoons. Or hammer nails into them. Before killing them. Then rip out their nails and slowly twist their necks off...*people edge away*- ~HyperLittlePsycho-chibi~  
**

Envy: I. Am. Not. Related. To. Palm. Trees. In any way! (punches gift with each word) I'm already working on those fangirls. Haven't seen Tiki Charm anywhere recently, have you?

**  
For Ed: Believe me, size doesn't matter. And I'm probably shorter than you are anyway. By the way, is it okay if I totally rip you off and count my shoes in my total height? (I'm 4'11" with them!!)Oh and also, same request as Envy-no wait, that might fuel their minds more. :( - ~HyperLittlePsycho-chibi~  
**

Ed: Shorter than me. Interesting. Shoes are part of total height you know! They're part of me that everyone sees all the time. It's fine to include them in height. Not that I _need_ to.

**  
For Al: Cats. Are. Awesome. I will spare them if ever I get to get into a reign of hyper carnage (pretty please, Wrath? I have candyy...but I GET HALF!!). Want one? My aunt has a lot...maybe...8. - ~HyperLittlePsycho-chibi~  
**

Al: Cats. Are. Awesome. Yes, cat now please.

Ed: Stop asking for cats!

Al: But they offered me one first!

Ed: No means no!

Al: Kittiessssss. (glare)

Ed: Uh, next!

**  
For Roy Mustang: Have you ever realized that your name sucks without writing both first and last names? "Roy" and "Mustang" alone FAIL. - ~HyperLittlePsycho-chibi~  
**

Roy: What?! That's not true. Here, I'll write them down separately on these pieces of paper and... (looks at papers)

Riza: Something wrong sir?

Roy: It's true.

Riza: What?

Roy: (backs into corner) Roy's a pretty cool name. Right? That's what I thought! (covers face)

Riza: Don't cry Colonel. You're setting a bad example for your men.

Roy: I'm, (sniff) not crying. (sniff)

Riza: (sigh) Well, I don't think Roy's a bad name. Or Mustang. I think they're... cool.

Roy: (looks over at Riza) Leiutement, you- (BANG) GAH! I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING THAT TIME!

Riza: (looks away) Next.

**  
For everyone: Harry Potter or Twilight?! *brings out very sharp scissors and a death sentence for all that hate Harry Potter--"I will killz u wid mah scissars"*- ~HyperLittlePsycho-chibi~**

Everyone: Uh, Harry Potter then.

Al: What's Harry Potter?

Ed: I don't know Al, just play along until the scissors go away.

**For Ed: Hola, and Ed, Kingdom hearts does have cats in it.-Plumalchemyst**

Ed: What?! How can you expect me to know these kinds of things?****

For Ed: You're a foot taller than me and I don't throw a hissy fit and how can you hate milk its delicious especially with chocolate. -Plumalchemyst

Ed: I don't throw hissy fits.

Al: (looks away)

Ed: Mllk is squeezed out of cows! SQUEEZED out of a living animal, and you expect me to drink it?!****

For Maes: LOOK AT MY CUTE NIECES AND NEPHEW (bombards maes with photoes of five and 2 day old nieces and one year old nephew)- Plumalchemyst

Maes: Oh ho! So this is how you want it, huh? (cracks shoulders) Prepare to meet your match! (pulls out photos from various places on his body) Take a look at these! This one-(gets hit) Ow! Ew, what is this? A... squid?! Where'd this come from? Aw, it smells like someones been wearing it on their head for th last couple of hours or something! Ew! Gross!

Havoc: It was worth it.****

For Al: Open this (hands x-mas gift with a kitten inside)- Plumalchemyst

Ed: Hey! Stop trying to give him those things! (tosses box into huge bag)

Huge bag: Meeeeoowww.

Al: I thought I heard the sound of animal abuse!

Ed: Just my bag.

Al: Oh. Alright...

Huge Bag: Meow.****

For Roy: FROM HENCEFORTH YOU ARE CAPTAIN MINI SKIRT-Plumalchemyst

**  
**Roy: As long as it means that I have control over the entire miniskirt population, that's fine with me.

**  
For Riza: CRAZY LADY WITH A GUN-Plumalchemyst**

**  
**Riza: Where? I shall eliminate the security threat. (click)

Roy: Uh. Sure. Next.

**  
For Envy: REMOVE THE SKORT I FREAKING THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL UNTIL I HEARD YOU IN JAPANESE- Plumalchemyst**

**  
**Envy: Who's fault is that, blindy?! I'm obviously a man!

Greed: (glances at Envy) Sure, sure, whatever you say.

**  
For Havoc: I like you but I hate smokers so I am torn between marrying you and ditching you-Plumalchemyst**

Havoc: Oh. It's because I lost the squid hat, isn't it? Darnit! Curse you Mae Hughes, curse you!****

For Lust: So how much for a ** XD (sorry my male cousin Nicky asked for that)- Plumalchemyst

Lust: Sorry, I don't do those kind of things. (flicks hair) I'm way out of your league, dearie. (smirk)

**For** **Ling: What would you do for a klondak bar, if Edward were paying for it? -peaceofmindalchemist**

Ling: Oh! For a Klondike bar? Anything! It's my first appearance here! Yeah! I'm slowly rising the ranks to immortality!

Ed: Popularity doesn't equal immortality, weirdo.****

For Roy: Don't pretend like you don't know why Riza's shooting at you for flirting! Don't think we've forgotten about chapter 100 and chapter 101! Now do as Maes suggested and marry her! -peaceofmindalchemist  


Roy: (cold sweat) I have no idea what you're talking about. She's just my subordinate, that's all. (looks away) Although she does have a pretty nice body...

Riza: (aims gun)

Roy: B-but that's not at all what I'm interested in! (nervous) Ha-hahahaha... Ha. (looks away)

**  
For Maes: Can I see a picture of Elysia? And Gracia? It would make my day. I think Roy wants to see too. So does Ed. Ed really wants to see. -peaceofmindalchemist  
**

Maes: Yes! That's a grrrreat idea! Here, take a look at some of these! Hey Roy! Over here! You too Edward!

Roy: I don't really want to-

Maes: Nonsense, who wouldn't want to see such adorable pictures! Looks how beautiful Gracia is! Back when she was pregnant she would always-

Edward: Uh, this is-

Maes: And this one shows you Elysia right after she was born! See how precious she was? And still is! My, she's just getting cuter and cuter everyday! And I have picture proof! Of _Every Single Day_.

Edward: ...Why?! Why would anyone encourage this?!

Roy: Don't ask me.

Maes: (still talking)

Roy: Next!

**  
For Al: I have six kittens I need to give away. How many can you sneak past Ed? -peaceofmindalchemist  
**

Al: I have plenty of room inside of my armour! I could hide them in my leg cavities! See? Just load them all-

Ed: Alllllll.

Al: Yes, I am sorry, but you cannot rent living space inside of my armour, no matter how much money you're offering. Oh, hey there Brother! D-didn't see you there at all. Mhm

Ed: (suspicious)

**  
For Edward: You love Winry! That is all. -peaceofmindalchemist**

Ed: (red) What?! With that tomboy?! I would-

Winry: What was that, Edward? (holding wrench)

Ed: N-nothing. (looks away)


End file.
